On the phone right after the holidays, I finally thought to ask Mom a summarizing question: So what would you tell a new teacher was most important about communicating with kids?
Like lightening, Mom said "I can give you that answer in four words!" It's not a game show, I laughed. But she was serious. "Act like you care!" she said emphatically. "Act like you care about all of the children. Not just the good students. Even the ones who can't learn easily. Even the ones who smell like urine because the cat sleeps on their clothes. The ones who have no friends. The ones who always have to break the rules."
Here I had unexpectecly touched a hot button. "How does a teacher expect a child to feel about being in class if the teacher shows no interest in getting to know the child personally?"
And now I know why when I am out in my hometown with Mom it almost always happens that an adult walks up and, often with a shy grin, says "hello Mrs. Allemang!" That person -- sometimes older than me in reality -- suddenly becomes a 4th grader again talking to a teacher who really knew him or her. Who thought he or she was important and relevant. And Mom still remembers that fourth grader from class. I know because she unfailingly asks a specific question. Even now, she wants to hear the answer.
Perhaps Mom really needs just one word to say what's most important: care.
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