Where to start when communicating

    Mom taught 4^th graders for more than 30 years.  Her school voted her “Teacher of the Year” twice shortly before she retired. I’ve often felt a bit in awe of her emotional strength that allowed her to face a class of 9 & 10 year-olds with their range of needs and energies every day.  She says she really enjoyed it.  Most of the time.  “I miss the kids, not the paperwork.”

     I asked what she did when kids in her class were not motivated to learn. I will remember her answer a long time:

     “You can tell when children walk in the door if something is wrong.  They might seem angry.  Or look like they just fell out of bed.  Or have forgotten things.  Or they might slam books or remotely sit with an unhappy look.  Or go pick-on someone.

      "The stress often comes from somewhere else.  Maybe an argument at home.  Sometimes you know the source – such as when a student’s father was dying.  Whether you know or not, it is important that you go to the child and ask about him or her.  'What did you do last night?'  'Did you get your homework done?'  'If not, what help do you need?'  And then give the student the help he or she needs."

       "First you have to ask and communicate or you do not find out anything."       

       The thing that struck me about Mom’s answer was that the purpose of communicating was a genuine desire to help make it possible to learn…beginning at the child’s starting point, not just the where the child was supposed to be in the class standard or process.

      Even with kids, Mom spoke to them first as individual, human people with human emotional experiences affecting their lives -- experiences that left unacknowledged could block bringing their best selves to the day.  And then the work of learning could start.  I think perhaps this principle of communicating should not be limited to 10-year-olds or classrooms...

Comments

[Helen Palmer]

My sister taught me much the same lesson. Many of her kids (tough Manchester school) had to get themselves up and often came to school in dirty clothes and without breakfast. She said it was a wake up call for her and made her change her assumptions about kids' readiness to learn.

It's not different with adults and learning. I have learnt not to make assumptions about what people are ready to learn. And communication is a basic, but easily forgotten, first step. Really listening is vital :-)

Here's to a new year of learning and listening!