I had a difficult conversation with a man recently. (No jokes here from my single women friends; not all conversations with men are difficult!) But this man is pretty stubborn, I must admit. He frustrated me.
When I said I was working long hours these last few weeks, he said, "See, everything always comes back to where it was -- work, relationships -- everything!" He implied, of course, that I have always been and always will be a work-a-holic. I told him we disagree. Most likely, we were not really listening to each other.
If I had defended myself, I could have used my blog as an example. I am writing this post on Monday afternoon and have scheduled it to publish later this week when I'm not by my computer. That's because I am taking six days off. Fully off. No e-mail. No work. I DO still work with such focus and energy that I get worn down a little. But what I have changed is that I see the warning signs -- forgetting small things, letting little stuff bother me, just plain feeling tired. AND I STOP. Change the pace for some days. I spend entire weekends without a plan, a watch, a task list. I take naps. Sit in the sun. And don't feel guilty.
When someone has changed or even tried, we should shout to the roof-tops "Bravo! You courageous, strong, wonderful human being!" Every little step deserves our applause that a person has decided to believe in himself or herself the most. Trying is hard, especially at first. Always along the way we must make the choice to try again.
Maybe if I was really listening before I hung-up, I would have heard fear of failure instead of stubborness? "I don't WANT to change!" or "I am afraid I cannot change!" ? ?? ??? I don't know. It was a man of a certain middle-ish age, and for us women it is really hard to tell the difference sometimes. :-)
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