jalléCafe

Presence

I'm getting a lesson in what it must have been like for my mother when we were kids.  Four children, a husband and someone always in the emergency room.  A fish hook in a finger.  A finger squeezed between the door and the door jam.  A hammer in the back of the head.  A block of wood thrown heartily that nearly hit an eye.  (All my brothers; I can only remember being in the emergency room once for myself because a boy who "liked" me pushed me over onto the playground concrete while playing a romantic game of tag.)

The lesson is presence.  Being present.  Even when you have a million distractions.

Being present surely did not promise that nothing bad would happen.  An accident takes only the blink of an eye.  But my parents were really present.  Always beside us at the hospital.  At our beds when we were sick. They tried to prevent problems with rules and warnings and teaching and example.  But when they could not prevent us from doing something silly or stupid or careless or even just plain unpredictable and random, they showed up to help us deal with it.

I actually didn't fully learn the lesson of presence until I studied the examples of my parents in the light of my brother S's life.  When my Dad's mother died at the age of 89, I remember that my "baby" brother S was present with her.  I remember that it mattered to my grandmother not to be alone while everyone else was went on with living.  When S's son died, I remembered to be present because by then I had learned that sometimes it is all you can do and it is enough. And you can live with each other for that.

Over the years, I've learned that showing up, being present, at the moment that life gets a little human is, well, a lot human. 

That's what I'm trying to do now for Mr. B, whose injuries are not life-threatening, but still with an operation and a lot of pain.

I must feel the way a working Mom often feels - no matter how much you try to prioritize correctly - someone somewhere does not get enough presence. And you personally come last.  Which is why I'm writing this blog at nearly 11 p.m.  Five minutes for me and then sleep.

It's been a day of a few hours present here, another few hours present there and now five minutes fully present writing.  You know what? It is enough.  Good night!

Week 8: All about growth

Even though my work often brings "flow" to my life (e.g. the feeling of being totally absorbed in something that challenges me and that I enjoy doing), after a week of holiday in Zermatt sunshine, a little voice in my head shouted "No, I don't want to get up!" at 6:00 a.m. last Monday.   And "No, I don't want to be in the office!" as I turned the corner to the street where I park. But in I walked. And within an hour, the week began flowing by as usual.

The good:

• I felt well-rested from a good break and worked at a reasonable pace all week. (I'll admit that the pace was speeding up by Friday.) Remembered that I can have a life in the evenings, not just on weekends
• We gained a new client project that could prove to be an important step for our team's growth
• Our team had fun together celebrating the contributions of an employee who is leaving us for full-time motherhood and study.  Wonderful warm feeling of cameraderie when a team really enjoys an evening together. To be valued
• My colleague, Sandra, and I continued to build our common perspective about what we stand for in the training field. Important steps taken toward commitment
• The Professional Women's Group hosted an event with strong participation and many women staying to talk long after dinner ended.  That's the goal of a network!
• After months of organizing and ordering and waiting, we have new phones in our office that should make being gracious with clients and efficient in working together much easier

The challenging:

• We have new phones in our office!  See above.  Because of a client meeting, only one employee was able to take the official training.  When the meeting ended, I didn't even know what button to push to make out-going call.  And when the phone rang, it was chaotic.  The perils of new technology.
• It's a little tough right now to keep up with the client meetings and projects, allow enough time for the hiring process as we grow, and get all of the admin done with no admin support.  I'm considering new options for prioritizing my time.  Normally, that's one of my strengths.  At the moment, it feels like it needs a little breakthrough thinking.  I am optimistic as a new week begins

The real issue is that "life" set in: last week while I was out and again some days this week...every one of our public relations employees had the flu. A bad one here that really knocks you out.  I seemed fortunately to have missed it while on holiday. But then at the end of the week, my "boyfriend/partner" broke his arm in a sledding accident in the mountains.  Required surgery there and soon a second round here.  He had been on a school trip as a counselor with 10-year-old children for the week. Off I went to meet him at the hospital. And there went my healthy schedule. 

As he and I discussed, sometimes life tells you where you need to spend your time.

Eventually we learn to listen faster...and just go with the flow a little better. Because that's how it is and you do the best you can to deal with it. 

Postcard days

Matterhorn (again) , originally uploaded by jalléCafe.

From high on a cable car!

Gone to the mountains

I'm on holiday.   I planned it to hike in the mountains.  To write a little.  To rest and relax.  I have done all I hoped.  And much more.   Unexpectedly, I cleared away some old demons.  Fears, I mean.  After 12 years, I got back on two slippery sticks you point downhill on the snow -- and liked it.  I might yet enjoy skiing.  Not that I did not feel fear.  I just also felt the reward and was willing to make the battle with my mindset.  And I took three of the highest cable cars in Europe to see an entire mountain range on a wonderfully clear day.  I nearly quit before starting that trip and again just before the top.  I'll have a lot to say about never saying never in life.  When I return...next week.

Second Year Celebration

Given the busy holiday time on 20 December -- the official 2nd year anniversary of my business -- I moved the celebration to last night.  My business partner Sandra and I thought that people might appreciate a nice little apero on a cold, dark mid-winter's evening.

It seems they did.  Some twenty five of us toasted together at Rolf's Wine Bar in Zurich.  It's near a popular tram stop called Bellevue.  Small, modern corner cafe with good wine. Nice for a stop after Saturday shopping. Or a quiet morning coffee.  We enjoyed a lovely spread of Italian meats and cheeses as well as freely flowing, graciously served wine.

Sandra and I hope to create an open friendly spirit among people when we conduct training.  I felt good that so many of our participants really wanted to spend time together again.  Not to mention a few friends made along the way and business supporters who have made a difference.

I hope I can make this winter celebration a habit!

Week 5: Already?

Today my blogger friend Helen and I walked hours in the cold Zurich sunshine.  She remarked that January flew by in a flash.  It did.

Here it remains fully winter.  But lovely as this photo shows.(For a real feeling of if...See Helen's better photos here!)  I have no idea if that ground hog saw his shadow in the USA yesterday. (My friends here all think it's just Bill Murray and Hollywood anyway; no chance of such real carrying's on in Pennysylvania.)

My week?  Went by in a flash!  No time to dance with shadows.

The good

Oh yes, Monday I drove home from Dijon having left my friend of more than a decade, G2, at the train station bound for Parid.  Part of that long weekend I mentioned last week.  (Great when they carry-over, eh?)  And then spent the rest of my Monday off with Zurich friend Mr. B. The good I understand is the miracle of old friendships and new shared on the same day.

Short weeks always fly by.  Had lots to do in the public relations world.  Prospective client meeting and proposal.  Project updates.  Hiring interviews.  Month-end reporting. Year-end 2007 financial reviews.  All interesting and better preparing me and our team for the road ahead.

My own business investment was more mechanical this week. Updating computers, marketing, and promotional materials.  OK for these days.  I gave a seminar before the long weekend and cannot do it all, all of the time.  The next week will be more balanced.

The less perfect

• Broken record time here:  still a bit behind in personal correspondence.  Although I did manage to catch-up with a friend from Argentina, my former-husband-now-friend (important that we can say this with respect) and a valued past colleague of the best creative type in the USA.  Still a long list of people I care about.
• Lack of graciousness.  For the Professional Women's Group, our treasurer and I invited Febrary's guest speaker to lunch in preparation for the 19th Feb event.  Then we "split it Dutch treat."  I hated it when the moment passed for me to offer to pay as the president.  We have a club policy about not paying speakers.  But lunch.  Caused me to remember that the best leaders know when to bend the policy into better practice.  I called her back yesterday and explained how I felt about it. And will propose a change to that policy on this Tuesday's Executive Committee agenda.  Good reminder that generosity is a principle and a practice, not a policy!

And with that, I leave you with Zurich at night -- the view I enjoyed this month when I walked home many evenings along the river, having worked perhaps a little too late, but not yet too tired to notice.