jalléCafe

The one time I try to stay between the lines

I've not been one to stay between the expected lines in life.  Didn't become a teacher.  Didn't marry my high school boyfriend.  Didn't stay close to home or even very close to my home country (other than closely connected to my family there). Didn't work every year once I started (took a year off when I was 40')!

I didn't even mean to do all those things.  They just happened one day at a time while I was figuring out who I am as a person and trying to find kindred spirits along the way.

Yet there is one time I will stay between the lines.  Times like these:

On Friday it was 90 degrees F or more here (i.e. 34 degrees C).  If you stood in the sun for one minute, sweat poured down your skin.  You couldn't wear few enough clothes.

Notice how everyone here is standing within the shadow lines at the tram stop.  There wasn't any room for me between the lines; so, I stopped about 10 seconds to take this photo.  Then I squeezed in beside the woman in the white top.

I'm having one of my best ever summers. Not just from hot sunny weather, but also enjoying being outside normal business lines again as my studio is teaching me about creativity - and has shown me a few kindred spirits in the process.

I stood there thankful for the thin shadow line as I waited to go meet one of those kindred souls, thinking how good it can be to learn when to stay in the lines and when to cross a few.

Real life, again

So now it's 19:00 (7 p.m.) on a Wednesday.   Deadlines met.  Ready for a prosecco.

But first, a blog post!

I've recently traded some services with a good friend and colleague Sandra O (who has appeared on this blog previously - still an adamant nonblogger).  She attends my seminars and in exchange is demonstrating a counseling method I'm interested to understand called Logosynthesis. We are using me as the demonstration model.

I've learned a lot. I've benefited a lot. Yesterday, she told me it was time for me to find a phrase that helps evoke the image of my goals.

Today, I came across an observation I made in my journal last August while sitting by the lake in the sunshine watching people. "There is such beauty in a person standing happily right where he or she is in life." 

Maybe that one will work.

When to stop working too hard

My new relationship with snow had its ups and downs this weekends.  The downs included three nice little falls from which once a ski instructor (not mine) helped me get back on my ski's. And this was cross-country! Going too fast or on some curve I didn't quite have enough skill for yet.  Although, when I started Saturday morning, I am sure a retired man and his lovely retreiver were walking faster than me.

So I renegotiated my perspective again - as I have done so many times in life - to recognize I am truly starting at the bottom.  For me, skiing will be 95% perseverence and 5% talent. But I want to do it because I love being outside in the sun and the snow.  Even when my entire body hurts afterwards. And I like the idea that one day, after 100s of small steps over several seasons in my case, I might be even one-third as elegant as the ski-skaters beside me. I have learned that would be huge for me.

After some hours, I realized also something I sometimes notice during the week: that the work of skiing (even though I loved it) was getting in the way of the beauty around me. So I took off my ski's for a while and just walked.  And listened.  And here was my favorite sound, of flow. 

PS, Many thanks to my friends who made this weekend possible!

Business class - part 3

So did you figure it out - the thing I need to change about my business travel?

I started this trip wondering what I was going to do about the constant parade of black.  Clothes, luggage.  Flying with 60 people in business class, only one obviously a business woman.  Me.  (Maybe not so obvious, the flight attendant asked the man seated beside me if I wanted more wine at some point.  No imagination that I was not his wife.)

During the years I flew like this every month or more, I lost myself.  Dragged from hotel to meeting room to airline lounge.  Learned that I didn't care about fitting in the road warrior club. Carried those images with me as I returned to travel on this business trip.

But a lot has changed since then, when I was new to Europe and on my own entirely.

I travel when the work is interesting and I like the client.  I return home and step off of the airplane into my life: with friends, my own little business, things I like doing, a home I've lived in for five years now. And these friends ask me about my trip (even keep in touch with me when I'm away).

I fully enjoyed learning the Brazilian culture a little, meeting new people, seeing Sao Paolo.

What needs to change is my attitude and what I focus on...as a friend said, not being too hard on myself if the work is tiring, but I still manage to see something new.

Watch this blog soon to see if I can show a new Business Class Jill on the next outing. I'm sure going to try!

Business class - part 2

So here's another exciting little excerpt of a typical business trip for me.  Figured out yet what I think I might need to change about how I approach this travel?

Business class

This week, I enjoyed a good business trip.  I enjoyed it partly because I genuinely like the client work - a workshop together.  For the other part, I enjoyed the chance to travel to a new place and observe my old business routine with fresh eyes.  Eyes that suggest I could possibly bring more of myself to business travel in the future.

It's been truly business class: my seat on the airplane, my hotel room, the nice restaurants.  Has its positives for sure.  Easy and comfortable.

Yet...

Well, you take a look for yourself at my little Business Class Jill videos over the next few blogs and see if you can surmise what I mean to change eventually.

 

Unpainted toes in ski boots

Now here is a photo I never thought I'd blog: Jill in ski boots after really having fun in the snow. 

I "retired" (i.e. quit skiing) more than a decade ago.  But the mountains have been romancing me back for a few years now.   I've learned that I like to walk more than an hour for a fondue.  And will hike much longer in snowy wonderlands when the sun shines in a bright blue sky.  Two years ago, Zermatt's wide runs inspired me back onto the slopes for a day. Entirely because I thought it was so beautiful and free and open.

This weekend I got inspired to join friends at the ski hill. Saturday we hiked for hours.  My friend & snow angel above remarked as we skidded downhill on garbage bags (because we regrettably thought it too inconvenient to haul the sled earlier), "Jill, I believe you are starting a new relationship with snow!"

Today, I purposely went alone for a nordic trek because I just needed to feel the skis again.  I used to like cross-country. Didn't have to face my huge fear of heights on chairlifts or steep slopes.  Seemed like getting back on any skis was a good first step. I loved it. It was me with me and my skis for simply the pleasure of it for the first time, maybe ever.  I even had some moments of needing to go faster. Downhill.

Amazing.  In my seminars we talk about facing fears in small steps.  I would never have imagined I could renew my desire to face this one.  Makes me feel a bit more alive this evening (if a bit over-exercised).  More than one good person in my life during the last few years has said, "Stop thinking, just drive!"  Finally, the voice in my head said the same.

Simple pleasures of winter

I know I tend to make my own life complicated.  I seem to always want to try the next new thing.

This year, I'm trying to slow down and focus on doing one good thing at a time. I want to figure out what "living simply" means to me.

Last Sunday, not your classically beautiful sunny mountain day, I took a simple walk with a friend. Cold, damp, a little windy at the top of the hill.

And still beautiful.  Enjoying a good conversation, a little movement. A slow winter day.

Do you ever do this?

I have a file in my Outlook email program that I renamed some months ago from "To Do" to "Will you ever do this???"  I thought maybe if I goaded myself with a little humor I might actually act on one of the three things in it faster.

Nope.  Didn't work.  I thought about relabeling it "Will Never Do."  Because we all know that the minute we say "never" it always happens.

Meanwhile, having completed the sixth of six seminars last night, I was feeling a little free to look at a new horizon this morning and began naturally brainstorming about "what's next."  None of the new things on my list are in the "Will Never Do" folder.  For sure, most of them I will do.  Sooner.

So why the heck have I kept that Never Do folder, I ask myself?  What's funny is that I can tell you exactly what's in it because "should do" morphed into self-imposed guilt long before the folder renaming.  Obviously I can live without doing these things. Maybe one day I'll do them because it will make sense at that time.

Tonight, I'm hitting delete and running for a Gluhwein.  Fast.  Before I start trying to do something else. 

10 minutes and being not perfect

It's a miracle.  I have ten minutes before our seminar starts this evening.  The topic: Formulating Your Vision.  Preparing gave me a chance to look back over my own career change with an open mind. I really have done what we will do together.

Yet nothing is a sure thing as I try to move this business forward.  Years and still "on the way."  It's still scary some days.

Mostly I thought today, how not perfect I am.  In fact, sometimes I wonder if I have the right perspective.  Great to be optimistic and energetic to do something new.  Something you hope you will respect yourself for.

Yet yesterday (actually this morning with a clear, rested voice), I had a moment realizing that when you get too busy - even pursuing a good dream - you can miss the point of how to interact with others.  One of my friends called and I nearly didn't answer because I was focused on something else.  OK I did answer.  Another friend joined me for dinner, yet I nearly didn't slow down long enough to really listen and learn his view.  And he's a good person.

So for sure I was reminded that I may have a "worthy professional goal," but I can still be so darned far away from getting it right.  I hope this 10 minutes of writing will help me remember starting tonight, life is about real people who deserve my care and respect.

Will the real me please stand up?

Last week, several conversations reminded me how people with similar backgrounds can - based on their own views and experiences - see the same person entirely differently.  Case under discussion: President Obama.  I relate to him as an educated, family-oriented leader.  A few people close to me see him only as a Democratic politician (not a plus in their eyes).

My point, as I sit here hungry for lunch at 1:30 p.m. on a Monday, is not to argue for or against Obama.   I'm just wondering how anyone ever really knows us at all.  At least Obama gets press coverage.

I, on the other hand, have only a few paltry demographics easily visible.  My native country, for example.  My gender.  My 20 years in business professionally. 

Is that who I am?  I don't think so, but I'm not sure it's that easy to see or learn what else lies beneath right now.  It's taking me years to step towards a new way of living my life.  Still working on it.

Perhaps who I am won't show until much later when I actually have results.  Meanwhile, I'm still taking each next step that no one really understands. Leading yourself can be a solitary road.

I remember the first moment I felt genuinely, internally motivated to try something that inspired me.  I was 13 years old in a year-end school assembly.  I suddenly saw a goal that I thought I might reach and later did.  I've been enthusiastically trying new things ever since, often making a next change before the last one was fully visible.  No wonder people get confused. 

I suppose the main person who has to understand the woman who walks in my shoes is me.  But it is nice to have company sometimes. (I do when it counts.)

I pondered all this as I sat writing seminar materials this morning - aiming to make tangible the still mostly invisible concepts in my mind and heart.  I concluded that I might as well give being visible as myself a try. 

Yet sometimes demographics we don't choose lead the visible way anyway.  For example, no matter what I do, I may always be most known by the people around me for one demographic that seems to never recede in its intrigue, yet has the least to do with me at all:

Jill, the Identical Triplets' Sister.  Thanks, Boys!  But then I guess with a blazing statistic like that, it's been even more of a challenge for you...

Remembering my vegetables

I started this morning wandering out of my apartment abruptly realizing I could have used my gloves, then happily shopping with cold hands through the farmer's market on my way to work.  Not quite fully light at 8:30 a.m.

Bought my vegetables for the weekend. Mom would be proud of how many green things I eat.

Ten minutes later I was in the office and tackled lots of admin still as I organize for the rest of the year. But also managed a bit of focus on our seminar plans. 

I realized several times this week - and even through today - that I'm in the flow a little.  I know exactly what to start on every day, wha feels most important next among the list of key things that I hope will make a difference.  I still have some serious topics ahead next week:  budgets for 2010, final seminar details.  Must address them directly, creatively and postively. One at a time. Not all at once.

So as I'm about to wander out near-dark to enjoy a slow walk through the city home, I'm going to try to practice a little more: be grateful for the little steps and the good days that feel fun and productive.  Try not to think about what "might happen" or "might not work" or "might fail."  Drink a prosecco.  Remember to grab my vegetables on the way out the door.

First week back; back-up plans required

Having returned 100% to work, I was all set to write a post last Monday, then the unexpected and oft-feared happened:  my laptop (which serves as my primary business computer) crashed.  Well, crashed is a strong, active sounding word. In fact, it simply wouldn't boot up at all.

Yipes. I hoped my back-up system worked!

Of course, my entire week became a work-around to keep business moving while recovering documents.  I had great support from my IT consultant, Raymond.  Thankfully.  But as of this writing - while I will recover all documents and programs in the end - I will be without them until I return to work tomorrow.

The good news:  my back-up plans worked better, but differently, than planned.  I have a second computer in the office, a shared drive where I had manually saved some documents before traveling, and a computer at home.  These days we also have web mail and remote access to PCs in other locations.  Amazing.  It worked with relatively little stress and will in the long run help me clean-up a few systems that probably needed it.

The most emotional moment of the entire process was on Tuesday when Raymond walked out with my laptop saying it would never return. 

Years of wear and tear.  The problem was physical, not the hard drive itself.  I bought it the year I opened my business and carried that laptop with me everywhere in my purse (lovely little thing it was).  Lately, we'd been to New York and Buenos Aires together.  It was my connection to the world and home during those trips.  I was in truth just trying to make it last through year-end when I could replace it with the latest operating system.  But I wasn't expecting to "part" so soon.

I managed to resist the temptation to give it a little pat or kiss as Raymond stepped out of my office.  I have to start being a grown-up sometime.

Moving office day

As my business has evolved, I've invented for myself the "moving office day."  I get away from my desk and take advantage of the tremendous Swiss train system while I read, plan and write.  I wrote all of the essays for Rearchitecting this way and now use my Moving Office a day every month or so when I can.

I have suprised myself over the years as I see that some of my best ideas that I ultimately use come from my Moving Office.  Let's see about today...

I took a train to Luzern and then a steam boat to the little lakeside town of Weggis.  It was a perfect day to ride across the lake and enjoy lunch outside.  I worked on my marketing plans for Six for Yourself ^TM and read a lot in Social Media Marketing An Hour a Day by Dave Evans. 

One thing Dave says is "just get out there on the social web and do something!" (paraphrased)

I came home all fired up with my first podcast idea for my business, recorded it immediately from my desk, and uploaded it to YouTube.  Here it is! I learned that I need a better webcam for podcasts.  Yet, it is so authentic - truly spontaneous, background noise and all - I just had to blog it.  What do you think?  Am I made for the movies?

Change, careers & diving boards

Not five minutes ago, I finally hit "send" on the first marketing campaign for my new product:  the jallé Six for Yourself.

I prepared for months.  New web site.  Whole new focus.

But as I approached the moment to hit "send" and "launch!" I felt a tension rising.  Excitement mixed with fear.

I realized that this new launch represents having again learned, discovered and CHOSEN the path of doing what I find most meaningful professionally (after three years with my own business).  I cut out all of the products and services that didn't fulfill me.  That is a risk, saying "no" to one thing and "yes" to another.  What if it doesn't work?

My 2002 diving board sketch (right) showed how I felt then about deciding to leave the corporate world behind me.  Saying "no, thanks" to a big company that had been part of my life for 16 years; "yes" to a different vision of myself.  Felt like a blind leap of faith.  Would I sink to the bottom of a deep dark pool? Seven years later, I cannot imagine another choice. 

This morning I jumped off of the board again.  A decision to start.  To go for it with both feet in. For me, that was one scary moment now overcome. 

Catching a breath

Full bags, originally uploaded by jalléCafe.

Some days, finding time to post a blog feels like yoga. In these writing moments, I finally find a few minutes to center my thoughts and reflect on what's happening around me.

At this exact moment, I'm a team of one. Two employees are out sick and the third is not working this Friday afternoon. The quietude is OK after what I counted up as no less than 12 meetings this week.

I started my day with a little reward for surviving until Friday by drinking a hot chocolate at Spruengli on my way to work (early as usual!) As I sat there I realized that through the last three years since starting my business, I have found a rhythm that lets me shift fairly easily and enjoyably between corporate clients and entrepreneurial hectic-ness. I like the variety, the challenge, the focus and directness.

And of course, I love working with the clients, the employees, the vendors, the people who volunteer in our professional women's group. 

I do get pretty tired. But it is worth it.

Snowy Commute - 17 Dec 08

Snowy Commute - 17 Dec 08, originally uploaded by jalléCafe.

I simply must quickly show you our holiday surprise this morning! I love crunching through snow on the way to work, especially so close to Chrismas.

BUT

Now my to-do list says: send invoices, finish expense reports, send revised text to two different clients, get the holiday cards in the mail to clients, update a potential job candidate about status, review my new web design concept, then meet with the web designer, talk with our CEO, and telecon with a client in Brazil. All followed by a holiday hair cut. (This is EXACTLY the list I made over a coffee this morning!)

So...off to the races. Let's all hope for a good day!

Week 44: Transition to winter mode

Well, it all started when our clocks "fell back" for Daylight Savings Time on October 26.  Suddenly the world went from Indian Summer to requiring an extra blanket on the bed.  By 5 p.m., the streets were dark.   I was fortunate that a professor and her long-time research assistant, now consultant from Northwestern University visited, giving us an excuse for fondue.

Not that I had time to notice the dark.  Plenty of meetings!  Monday in Basel. Tuesday outside of Zurich.  Tuesday night and Wednesday with visiting guests. Thursday with our team.   Friday, all of the month-end accounting due. Then Friday evening brought a dinner forum with supporters of the Father Sieber non-profit organization for the homeless. Fortunately a friend helped with perfectly-time translation of the Swiss-German dialogue.  Whew! And enough.

But I did notice this: Photo taken at 6 a.m. Thursday morning, October 30th.  Lovely, soft and quiet. 

Elsewhere, it created chaos even in the land of snowy Alps. In my neighborhood I watched it over my first cup of coffee and cheerily slid down the hill in my boots to get my tram. Well worth every slushy step and looking silly for a few minutes.

Weeks 42 & 43: Cloudy & cluttered, but clearing!

For decades, I've left a clear and clean desk in my office virtually every evening.  No matter how chaotic the days. No matter how many meetings and flying from one project to the next.  At night, I put everything in its place.  It has always been worth that extra 10 minutes at the end of one day to walk in each morning with a fresh start.

The mindset that each day is a new day in which something interesting - even exciting - might happen fuels my spirit.

But this photo is a morning shot! (And I know, some people would not exactly call my idea of clutter "chaotic.") Yet, that's my US absentee voter's ballot in the big yellow envelope (sitting under my calendar, beside two unfinished glasses of water and a stack of stuff to read, sign, or distribute.)  It's exactly where I left it all week - saying every day I need to mail my vote. 

In the last two weeks, though, I've started what feels like a "refresh" at work and home.  Lots of changes are now initiated and in progress: new deal and understanding with my largest client, new web site for my company initiated (look for it by year end) and 2009 calendar organized with new perspectives about where my clients and I are going.  And at home, I took down all of my curtains to give my apartment a more open look. I even have a new haircut and learned from a Bobbi Brown stylist what's fresh and modern.

Busy as we are, I'm rested overall and find a great deal of energy to inspire exploring.

By Friday, I left my desk once again clear.  I even bundled up the recycling (cardboard goes out on Monday) and found some new spaces for client project notebooks that had avalanched as they were overtaking my credenza.  

I will mail my vote on Monday.  First thing.  A fresh start to a new week of possibilities.  Life's simple symbols of freedom, choice and living where you can be yourself matter. One of my symbolic acts is starting my day with open space on my desk for new ideas...

Week 41: Zurich in the Fall

Fall in Zurich 2008, originally uploaded by jalléCafe.

I like all seasons, but Fall remains my favorite. Warm colors from low sun angles. The sound and smell of crunching leaves. Pumpkins.

Business continues to be brisk enough. Of course, Zurich and the world are also falling at the moment. The markets. The economic outlook. Our team discussed this week what, if anything, we can do to prepare for a slowdown. We decided it is a good time to stay "present" with clients.

I am surviving now perhaps my third economic downturn in my career. In 1987, I was just starting and too kniave (and surely with no assets) to notice as long as I had a job. In 2001-2002, I was in school per my plan. Good timing in some ways, although many of my colleagues were in school because they could not find work. The feeling was certainly depressive at times.

This time? I don't know yet. My young business may take a hit. Yet I'm small with relatively low costs. I really cannot foresee what it will mean. I'm just taking each day and week with patience and no panic. I guess that's what I've learned. Time, the same time that will bring the New Year in a flash and makes my life feel fast like the Concorde, will work out the details.

The only thing in my control this Fall is taking a look over things for prudent adjustments given the changing context and then staying "present" to enjoy what is working so far and anticipate what I might need to do later.  What's new about that? Nothing really.

So I think I will cook my first pumpkin soup this weekend with great pleasure (it never cost more than a few francs in any economy).

Weeks 38 & 39: Fields with Amber Waves of Grain

Life in the Kroger Lane- Sept 08, originally uploaded by jalléCafe.

I'm back from the USA. First visit in more than a year. Part business; part holiday (inclusive shopping in Chicago, naturally). I couldn't have picked a more interesting time to be "home." Presidential elections. Economic crisis. Family dramas. I watched it all with awe and intrigue. Realized I have real roots in Ohio despite the fact that I will vote differently than nearly everyone I know in my hometown. I love people there. And I'm now better prepared to explain our American political antics to my friends in Europe. Key word is explain, not "justify." No one changed my vote while I visited either! BTW, do you know where I get the reference to "amber waves of grain?" If you do, I wish you to hum it all day! :-)

Week 37: Whew!

It's Sunday night.  I admit I'm sitting at my computer drinking a prosecco while vegetables simmer on the stove.  In a few minutes, I will stir fry chicken.  (Yes, it's already after 9:00 p.m. here, but fine for me. I like to eat late.)

Today was rainy. In fact all weekend was rainy. But a nice excuse this afternoon for a hot chocolate and chat with two women friends who also happen to be Professional Women's Group of Zurich leaders.  Friendship and purpose mixed.  We shared stresses and priority dilemmas.  Solved a few and moaned about others. I walked away feeling that moments like these are a real gift in my life.

And then it was back to the computer!

I spent the week at the computer.  Client writing deadlines. Creating workshop visuals.  Sending emails.  Checking web stats.  Always summarizing one event while developing another.  Thankfully our team members added their normal humor, strong-willed ideas and real enjoyment of the work despite deadlines.

This week my co-Facilitator Sandra and I finally had a much needed business direction discussion. I felt instinctively that it was important.  New directions and commitments for both of us.  Feels right and makes me more creative - a long-term relationship still nurtured through stages of change.

And I managed some lunches with friends that were actually little oases of relaxation midweek, even when I didn't think I "had time for them."

Blues playing on my stereo.  Prosecco in hand.  Smell of fresh food in my apartment.  Me, myself and I for a few minutes before the week breaks into chaos and Grand Prix races tomorrow!

Time to cook!  Cheers!

Week 34: practice communicating to stand in

Just in time Jill here again!  Posting week 34 just before week 35 passes in a flash!

Last week, I had a several chances to practice standing in.  You know standing in, right?  It means using your voice when you do not feel 100% happy with something someone said. And that someone has authority or, in some way, power.

This summer I (re)read a book by Howard Gardner (called Leading Minds) that suggests strong leaders like Churchill or Eleanor Roosevelt showed an early willingness to stand up to authority.

But you think twice before standing when that authority is a new client helping to pay your bills.

Then I reminded myself that most strong, productive conversations start with someone being willing to say what he or she thinks, really.   I said what I thought, trying to stick with the mutual goals and hopefully hiding my impatience or irritation at the waste of energy potentially brought on with (and by now you know this is my favorite) corporate politics. 

And today, I'm still standing.  We're still working together.  I think and feel we are better for it.  How can I tell?  We smile and joke with each other more as we go forward. A side benefit to standing I had not considered: the whole project is more fun.

Week 33: time management & inspiration

I find it eerie sometimes how intuition connects with reality. 

I started Monday with an intuitive theme in addition to my list of stuff to do: a growing feeling that I need to figure out new ways to build and stay connected with my "inspiration circle" of professional relationships, friends and family.  It's been on my mind since my holiday.  Always a dilemma of time management somehow for me.  And wanting to be "not always" on my computer. Believing that in-person is better for emotions, health and conversation, yet recognizing that I'm a woman who needs significant alone space to recharge my batteries. Plus I live at a distance from a range of important people in my life. Yet these people, collectively, give the warmth, love and inspiration that makes it all fun and rewarding.

Then on Tuesday, I bumped into my first ever jalle client who I had not seen for some months since he changed his job (and life).  He suggested we reconnect for a coffee and scheduled it later via email.  (The unexpected, simple reconnection felt important and good. As an entrepreneur, I keep a special place in my soul for that first person who voluntarily said, "I could use your help with something" after I announced my new venture.)

And so on it went through the week.  While having a long-awaited lunch with a former colleague, an even longer-known former colleague stopped by to say "hi" and reminded me we should catch-up. And a local friend who I haven't seen for a year called to schedule lunch (in October, by the time our calendars collide). Etc. I took some space over the weekend for myself -without allowing myself to feel guilty about how I "should" do something else  - in a place a enjoy near Zurich. (And except for the 10 minutes of the man in the herb sauna obviously trying to introduce himself, I recharged in peace.)

I felt healthier for the week, even though it also included all the same stresses of proposals due, client project deadlines and more email received than time available to deal with it. Somewhere in there I had also talked a little with Mom and corresponded with one of my closer friends in the USA. I felt present with my circle of inspiring people and myself. 

I realized over the weekend that I need to make a mental shift:

My to-do list each week must be shorter and account for a longer-term perspective, including a few to do's with my "inspiration circle."  It's too easy to get lost in the focus on paperwork, team planning, meeting summaries and email.  This dilemma persists, whether the setting is corporate, smaller specialty business, or entrepreneurial.

My intuitive voice says it's up to me to change my attitude about what makes time "well spent" -  not just the structure around my life.

Week 32: Mixed clouds & sunshine

Partly cloudy, sunny, rainy, windy, cool, hot.  It's August in Zurich.

During the last week, I mixed work and pleasure too.

Vacation.  Reading.  Laying on the beach beside the lake.  Long nights out with friends.  Busy days with clients.  Even during the two extra days I took for vacation, I found space, emotional freedom and perspective to write on my business topics.  And on Wednesday - a long day of work in the office - I ended with a spontaneous 1.5 hour boat ride - a sunny, float with a friend who has a new job.

Through it all, I recommitted to my business goals, reorganized my blog, figured out what I hope is a solution for team organization changes required, and refreshed my energetic spirit.

Variety helps me. As does taking enough space for myself.  Mostly, I need to remember that many rules I follow that drag down my days into fatigue are of my own making or assumption that I "should" do something a certain way.  Like I "should" be always in the office when I'm working.

When will I learn that I have to slow down before I can speed up?

Week 31: Summer lessons for an entrepreneur

The last week of July puts Switzerland and most of Europe solidly in summer holiday season. The French and Italians largely disappear from business for the entire month of August.

If you don't plan ahead, your work slows down whether you want it to or not.  We did our best to prepare - especially now that at least one person on our team will be out on vacation every week through September.   Fortunately, a few new projects for both my business and my clients' team should keep us steady.

I also tried to anticipate the season by jumping eagerly online July 1st at 7 a.m. to grab a few nights of open air cinema tickets in Zurich.  For a month, the telecomms company Orange sponsors films by the lake.  When the weather is nice, an evening cannot be better.  I saw The Band's Visit a couple of weeks ago. Fun and quirky. My friend and I arrived early to share a bottle of wine and an enthusiastic mutual update.  Then last night, I had extra tickets and arrived myself only barely in time for a quick dinner and to watch that big screen rise over the lake again.

The movie fit my week - which was sure no light and airy summer escape. Le Scaphandre et le Papillon (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly) in its intensity made me even forget I was listening in French (which I don't understand) and reading German subtitles, usually still an effort for me. 

It was as if the "world" decided to remind me this week why I made changes in my life:  I have seen reason to ponder which direction is best for my business, for continuing to grow as a person, for following the path I thought I set forward (the constant dilemma of an entrepreneur).  And as if to say "listen, girl!" I gained a new client project for which I will do what I love best professionally (designing and facilitating a corporate discussion) right when I was thinking about what kind of work I really wanted. And for the first time we spoke primarily German as we outlined the goals, just a few days after I decided to finally return to my German lessons.

Last night I felt frustrated that one of my client projects was making it difficult for me to leave the office.  That, in fact, it seemed to be accomplishing the opposite of my overall life goals as I finally arrived home at 8:00 p.m. then raced out to the lake.  There is always so much to do and the challenge of deciding what can be delegated and when you can afford more help. And there were silly squabbles this week among some women who are supposed to represent "professionalism" to others. I was begining to feel a weird mix of exasperation and numbness.

Then the movie abruptly reminded me that life is short, unpredictable and valuable for the small moments and opportunities not squandered.

The close of the The Band's Visit drew enthusiastic, smiling applause a few weeks ago. Le Scaphandre et le Papillon drew absolute silence.  The entire audience sat quietly in the dark while the screen credits slowly rolled. I felt we collectively shared the humanity of knowing it was a true story and a few moments of realizing we could still feel the breeze off of the lake. How unfair it seemed in some way.  I found myself deeply moved to move forward. 

Week 18: Happy about the reasons I'm busy

I wrote a quick email to my business partner Sandra last Thursday with a quickly-written article about a talk we will give on May 26th in Basel (Professional Women's Group Entrepreneurs Evening) that was quickly organized the Friday before with only a few quick weeks to prepare. 

"Sorry about not reviewing this with you in advance -- working on-demand at the moment.  I'm swamped, but at least I'm happy about the things that are making me so busy."

That's the perfect description of my last week or two.  Swamped, but the stresses and pace feel worth it.

In theory, it was a short week here as most of Europe celebrates May 1st as Labor Day.  Unlike in the USA, where Labor Day Monday launches the season of summer grilling for many people, here it can be a day of unrest as people take to the streets with vandalism to protest poor pay and labor laws.  Policical speeches. And a reason to keep your car at home because even in "safe" Zurich, you might find it later with a dent or fire damage.

This year, Labor Day arrived on Thursday.  Many people "bridged" Friday as a vacation day.  The weather cooperated to create our first real Summer-like weekend.  I believe nearly all people felt grateful.

The good:

1. See above
2. I helped organize and participated in a colleague's first delivery of a communications training program.  I'll write more about this in a few days.  I found the entire experience special for the environment of real friendship, professionalism and learning.
3. We approved a 2008 growth plan to guide our public relations business here.  I'm excited about the possibilities and enthusiastic about our increasing momentum as a team.

The not perfect:

Not much!  I cannot ask more than to spend my time with friends, working in a lovely place, with good weather that enhances the beauty and interesting professional challenges.

Sometimes it is more wise and mature not to complain.

Week 15: Remembering to "look up"

Last week's Wednesday of Resilience seems to have met my goal.  I wondered at first if it really worked.  I felt too task focused and wanted to give my more creative, enthusiastic side a little recharge.

Proof:  I'm writing this blog having just returned to the office from a late lunch.  That makes it the middle of a working day here. A Monday, no less.

An odd Monday for sure.  Shortly, nearly everyone in Zurich will gather for a costume parade down the main street (Bahnofstrasse).  More than 25 "Zunfts" or traditional trade unions/clubs will stroll for more than three hours dressed in the clothes of the day nearly 100 years earlier.  ALL MEN MARCHING.  Women's role for this event is to sit along the street with baskets of flowers.  When a favorite man walks by, a woman runs to him with a flower and adds three kisses on the cheek (left-right-left Swiss style).  The one women's Zunft that exists is not allowed to march.  You can get annoyed by the sexism, but what do we expect in a country where women only gained the right to vote in 1971?  I'm satisfied for now to do my part in moving us into the modern world as President of the Professional Women's Group of Zurich. 

And anyway, the tradition is more about the ringing of the 6 p.m. bells to designate the end of work - and increasing daylight in the Spring.  Here's good explanation:  The Tradition of Sechseleuten

Equally odd: the parade ends with the burning of the "Booeg" or snowman at 6:00 p.m. (Like the Ground Hogs Day and July 4th in the USA combined.)  The tradition goes that the length of time it takes for the snowman to explode atop a burning bonfire designates the length of the remaining winter.  It snowed here last week.  I'm hoping for a quick burn.  Via the miracle of modern technology, you can get the idea via You-Tube!  Sechseleuten 2006

A band just marched down the small street of our office representing the meat cutter's Zunft which normally meets in the same building as the Swiss-American Chamber of Commerce luncheon events.  Guys wearing red butcher's vests and carrying silver axes with red flowers tied on them.  I'll show you photos tomorrow.

For now:  It's time to participate in the community more fully.  With all of its people and traditions.  Some that I understand.  Some I will learn.  Some I will simply enjoy in baffled, but happy wonderment. 

Return to the page

I slipped into a "blog recession" these last few weeks. 

Thanks to Mr. Ness, I have NOT let a sharp downturn of an entire month hit my posts.  Talking with him today - well, not just his words, but really more his spirit as a friend and colleague who has been with me since the beginning of my business two years ago - compelled me on-line. Right now.

Reminded me why I write.  What is great about communicating.  Where I started.

What really has happened since early March is that I've purposefully moved into single-mindedness.  There's something I sense is at the right moment to move forward.  I want to be there to catch the moment and spur it on if I can.  (Ironically, this is actually related to Goal #3 that I havn't yet published.)

My sole view for a period of time is about establishing a growth trend with my largest client and making it sustainable.I feel a change in the momentum. The energy has been fun and rewarding because I'm sharing it with a team.

The rest of my energy has been invested in Goal #2.  Tonight Goal #1 gets a deep breath. (Thanks to Mr. Ness, who didn't even express frustration when I admitted I hadn't yet read his recently published article when I know he'll be one of the first to read this post. Really sorry. A good kick deserved and noted.)

In fact, periods of single-minded focus can also be creative.  Problem solving.  Moving forward with drive. Discovering new ways to meet a goal.

What one risks with singular focus is that while constantly drilling deeper and deeper into the goal, you forget to look up once in a while. And the next thing you know, you raise your head for a moment in the sun to find that everyone else has moved to a new beach.

OK I'm mature enough by now to pay attention often enough.  And if not,  by now I thankfully have good friends who remind me.

I feel happy and somehow recentered to have returned to this page.  More soon!

Week 9: Life makes its voice heard

This week, more than many others, I needed to organize my work priorities around more urgent (or less in my control) personal needs.  Every night I visited my friend Mr. B for a couple of hours in the hospital.  Usually, I was not home until 9:30 or 10:00 p.m.  He wasn't deathly ill, but it can be isolating to spend long hours in that setting. So I tried to help break it up a little for him.  That's what my family does or at least what I remember learning from them.

What's great about that is that you feel you did something good for someone.

I was really tired by Friday and feeling a need to withdraw a little to my own space.  I can imagine if I had children that would be difficult.  Fortunately Peter is back to independent form now.

The good

Good client meetings for both my training business and our public relations team.  Possible progress on new projects.  Excellent people with whom to work. In both cases, the projects could lead to building our reputation for capabilities that are both high standard and unique.

I managed to hit enough of my work priorities that I do not need to work all weekend.  Just 2.5 hours on Saturday to finish invoicing.  That's the new Jill, I'm happy to say.

The less good

I realized this week that I do not enjoy having to tell someone that he or she will not be hired.  We've been seeking candidates for the public relations team. I've met a number of strong people who I liked and believe would fit well with our team.  Yet we have not enough positions open to hire them all. I had to say "no" to several good candidates this week.  The feeling of disappointing them, quite frankly, sucks...even when I know the decision is in the best interest of the business needs and it is my job as a manager to make hiring decisions as best I know how.

Lesson learned

That it worked OK to take my days one-at-a-time this week (I had to at first because of the hospital schedule).  I knew what things needed to be done: VAT taxes absolutely due, invoices must be in mail, a few other deadlines for client work.  Everything else (and there were other appointments, going to the Swiss-American Chamber of Commerce, the Professional Women's Group and even taking a pair of pants to be hemmed) I did as my schedule allowed.  Interestingly, I accomplished almost all things by Saturday. Without working killer hours and even taking a more space for personal life. And today, Sunday, I have off. 

By taking it day-by-day with only a rough big picture in mind, I felt less stress, occasionally just said "enough" for the day and was more fresh the whole week for it.

Now I'm going for a walk!

Week 8: All about growth

Even though my work often brings "flow" to my life (e.g. the feeling of being totally absorbed in something that challenges me and that I enjoy doing), after a week of holiday in Zermatt sunshine, a little voice in my head shouted "No, I don't want to get up!" at 6:00 a.m. last Monday.   And "No, I don't want to be in the office!" as I turned the corner to the street where I park. But in I walked. And within an hour, the week began flowing by as usual.

The good:

• I felt well-rested from a good break and worked at a reasonable pace all week. (I'll admit that the pace was speeding up by Friday.) Remembered that I can have a life in the evenings, not just on weekends
• We gained a new client project that could prove to be an important step for our team's growth
• Our team had fun together celebrating the contributions of an employee who is leaving us for full-time motherhood and study.  Wonderful warm feeling of cameraderie when a team really enjoys an evening together. To be valued
• My colleague, Sandra, and I continued to build our common perspective about what we stand for in the training field. Important steps taken toward commitment
• The Professional Women's Group hosted an event with strong participation and many women staying to talk long after dinner ended.  That's the goal of a network!
• After months of organizing and ordering and waiting, we have new phones in our office that should make being gracious with clients and efficient in working together much easier

The challenging:

• We have new phones in our office!  See above.  Because of a client meeting, only one employee was able to take the official training.  When the meeting ended, I didn't even know what button to push to make out-going call.  And when the phone rang, it was chaotic.  The perils of new technology.
• It's a little tough right now to keep up with the client meetings and projects, allow enough time for the hiring process as we grow, and get all of the admin done with no admin support.  I'm considering new options for prioritizing my time.  Normally, that's one of my strengths.  At the moment, it feels like it needs a little breakthrough thinking.  I am optimistic as a new week begins

The real issue is that "life" set in: last week while I was out and again some days this week...every one of our public relations employees had the flu. A bad one here that really knocks you out.  I seemed fortunately to have missed it while on holiday. But then at the end of the week, my "boyfriend/partner" broke his arm in a sledding accident in the mountains.  Required surgery there and soon a second round here.  He had been on a school trip as a counselor with 10-year-old children for the week. Off I went to meet him at the hospital. And there went my healthy schedule. 

As he and I discussed, sometimes life tells you where you need to spend your time.

Eventually we learn to listen faster...and just go with the flow a little better. Because that's how it is and you do the best you can to deal with it. 

Week 5: Already?

Today my blogger friend Helen and I walked hours in the cold Zurich sunshine.  She remarked that January flew by in a flash.  It did.

Here it remains fully winter.  But lovely as this photo shows.(For a real feeling of if...See Helen's better photos here!)  I have no idea if that ground hog saw his shadow in the USA yesterday. (My friends here all think it's just Bill Murray and Hollywood anyway; no chance of such real carrying's on in Pennysylvania.)

My week?  Went by in a flash!  No time to dance with shadows.

The good

Oh yes, Monday I drove home from Dijon having left my friend of more than a decade, G2, at the train station bound for Parid.  Part of that long weekend I mentioned last week.  (Great when they carry-over, eh?)  And then spent the rest of my Monday off with Zurich friend Mr. B. The good I understand is the miracle of old friendships and new shared on the same day.

Short weeks always fly by.  Had lots to do in the public relations world.  Prospective client meeting and proposal.  Project updates.  Hiring interviews.  Month-end reporting. Year-end 2007 financial reviews.  All interesting and better preparing me and our team for the road ahead.

My own business investment was more mechanical this week. Updating computers, marketing, and promotional materials.  OK for these days.  I gave a seminar before the long weekend and cannot do it all, all of the time.  The next week will be more balanced.

The less perfect

• Broken record time here:  still a bit behind in personal correspondence.  Although I did manage to catch-up with a friend from Argentina, my former-husband-now-friend (important that we can say this with respect) and a valued past colleague of the best creative type in the USA.  Still a long list of people I care about.
• Lack of graciousness.  For the Professional Women's Group, our treasurer and I invited Febrary's guest speaker to lunch in preparation for the 19th Feb event.  Then we "split it Dutch treat."  I hated it when the moment passed for me to offer to pay as the president.  We have a club policy about not paying speakers.  But lunch.  Caused me to remember that the best leaders know when to bend the policy into better practice.  I called her back yesterday and explained how I felt about it. And will propose a change to that policy on this Tuesday's Executive Committee agenda.  Good reminder that generosity is a principle and a practice, not a policy!

And with that, I leave you with Zurich at night -- the view I enjoyed this month when I walked home many evenings along the river, having worked perhaps a little too late, but not yet too tired to notice.

Week 4: Living, fully

Last week, this blog reached a milestone:  "Gifts of Relevance" represents my 100th blog post.  I've stuck with it more than a year and can now say -- through a hundred ramblings and ponderings.  Special thanks to you: if you are reading this, you've stuck to it with me!  A gift of readership.

That, you might guess, represents part of the "good" from last week.  But it's hindsight!  The good I recognized at the time:

• The client workshop on "Your Leadership Voice: Increasing Influence" because I always learn more when I facilitate.  And it is an honor to work with engaged, smart people. This is what I changed careers to try to do.
• The location of the workshop, Montreux, one of the truly beautiful places in Switzerland and my own remembering to actually step out of the hotel and across the street to take a deep breath at the lake before speeding home.
• More progress on our public relations business.  A real team beginning to show itself...
• And then I had a break from Friday - Monday to meet a friend in Dijon, France, where they drink wine like water.  When's the last time you started the day with eggs poached in a burgundy sauce and a glass of local white wine? 

The not perfect:

• Instead of taking the whole day off on Friday, I worked a few hours to be prepared for hiring.  Good cause for business.  Bad habit from Jill to always think she should "just do that one last thing!"
• Still behind on my personal correspondence.  Let's see where this week goes.

What I learned:

I remembered, actually, the feeling of independence and creativity I often experienced when taking short trips by car.  The freedom to try a new place (amazing here that you can be in one of the best wine regions in the world with a few hours driving).  And I remembered how important a few days away can be for you spirit.  How important talking and laughing with good friends is for your health. It's January, perhaps I'll remember this past the winter!

Week #3: Variety

I like variety in a job and among my days.  This week provided it.  I started the week on business development and ended it with accounting (the latter not always my favorite, but in this case within reasonable boundaries).

The Good:

Gibbs & Soell team building through the work with clients.  We find more ways each week to understand and grow through each others' strengths.  This week, we divided the work for one specific client to better focus separately on strategic counsel and project management.  Everyone seems happier -- hopefully the client especially as we move forward.

I found enough quality time also on my training business to make progress.  Preparing for a client workshop next week, marketing and continuing to develop the perspective we want to communicate.

The Professional Women's Group 2008 kick-off event on Tuesday drew strong attendance for an excellent speaker.  People stayed around fairly late, which is one of our barometers of success.

Most days I managed my time to get out of the office by 6:30 p.m. or earlier (except Friday, when I decided to finish the accounting so that I could enjoy an open weekend).  I'm still in early, but not the pre-sunrise hours of many past months.  I'll keep my goals updates separately, but I can say that I found more creative time.  Found it?  Actually, I simply took it!

The Not-so-Good

I'm a little behind in my correspondence with friends who live in places other than Zurich.  Just cannot motivate myself to be on-line or on the phone often in the evenings (when I am tired). 

I also did not make it to fitness during the week even once, although I did walk home a few nights.  On balance, I think it is OK to mix being outside with being in a gym.

What I Learned

Over the last few weeks, I'm re-learning that it is really up to me to set my schedule and boundaries.  I felt well and happy this week, largely due to being engaged in work that I like BUT ensuring I live all of my life, not just the work part. And making sure I rest.  When I give myself my creative time, everthing goes better.

Week 2: Back to work, in a good way

Last year, I summed-up most weeks in a reflection.  Well, until about Week 44, when I lost the battle among competing priorities for a while.  I paid a price for that, by the way, in stress.  This year, I must manage differently.

So here's the to first work week of the year:

The good

• Strong business start with new enquiries for my training and for Gibbs & Soell Public Relations that I lead here
• After the holiday closet-cleaning in our office, the New Year started at a fresh pace for the team. We are moving forward now towards something we understand. Step by step.  And my own perspective as the leader is also more clear
• Most important, the daily work routine was busy, but reasonable.  I still feel engaged and grateful to do work I enjoy.  Makes the time run quickly
• I did a good job every day except Thursday, of getting out for lunch at a normal lunch time (Thursday it was 3 p.m.!) and leaving the office just after 6:00 p.m. (Thursday it was 7:45 p.m.).  That's a commitment I've made to myself and to show our team it is important, too.  I felt healthier for it
• The PWG Executive Committee kicked-off the year also with a strong start on Tuesday night.  All nine of us were present.  All with ideas and energy.  We still managed to end at a reasonable hour.  Some of us went later for drinks.  All the work of the last months begins to show.  I enjoy this team more and more

The bad

• Thursday time management as noted above
• Not much else really.  Two days of sun in Zurich helped.  Interaction with people I care about helped. 

What I learned

That setting the right pace and working hard, but keeping my life is a mindset that I can manage most days.  But I already knew this.  It's more about when I remember!  :-)  This was a week more to be grateful for what I have learned already.  I am. 

Welcome 2008!

Today is back-to-work-day for most of us.  A new year.  A fresh spirit from holiday rest.  Let's hope it lasts a few hours...smile.

During the last two weeks, I wrote a lot in my personal journal.  Took a good look over 2007.  Here were just a few of the themes:

My company - still in business!

Moved to a more sustainable and healthy consulting model with Gibbs & Soell Public Relations (G&S).  Having grown my individual consulting practice to levels nearly drowning me, I can now consult with this team -- people I respect and feel good about supporting -- and focus the rest of my effort on training. 

Built two especially strong and valuable business associate relationships with Mr. Ness and I-refuse-to-blog-Sandra.  And a handful of other relationships that are growing in ways that make working worthwhile. 

Delivered five seminars with experienced professionals, three leadership level workshops, one top leader event and two corporate speeches.  This doesn't count three or four significant one-time events I organized for others.  It really an active year overall.  Felt like progress when I looked at it that way - even with a few "well, you win some and lose some" type experiences along the way.   

Near year-end, both G&S and my own company held separate "away days" to look over the big picture. In both cases we took strong steps toward a common vision of the future. I hope we are also in both cases building a positive, enthusiastic community understanding and spirit with those who come in contact with us. The first steps in really standing for something meaningful.

Personal life. 

I reread my personal journal from last year and saw that I often noted "I am tired."  Really often.  Startling in hindsight given that I don't travel much anymore.

I've underestimated the energy it's really taking to create a business.  On weekends, often I am tired.  I should expect it and plan a little slow-down to help myself out.

It seems also that -- especially after the summer -- I slipped into longer working hours that squeezed out my creativity a bit.  You noted of course my blog slow-down.  When I lose my time to read, write and reflect, I limit my horizon. Eventually it limits my voice.

Big surprise working with the Professional Women's Group of Zurich:  how much work it was to get it operating with energy.  It's been worth the effort.  By year-end we turned a corner toward being able to grow new ideas.  The Executive Committee is wonderful and enthusiastic.  I'm making real friends among the group, which is one big reason to be part of it.

I learned not to make myself suffer more than necessary over the things that worry me.  And not to "niggle" myself over little stuff that takes time away from the people I love in my life.  Real friendships develop and evolve over time. They outlast many tests.  I saw this with many people this year: my mother, brothers, men, long-time women friends and an important circle of people I've known a while in different contexts than where I live now and need to figure out how to correspond with more personally.

I am MUCH healthier overall.  This has less to do with my physical health than it does with my emotional well-being.  (Although, I think the two are closely linked.)  The feeling of living in a community, not isolated by travel or work.

I learned a lot about the Zurich community by participating in it.  I've made only a small start by getting to know the SWS non-profit organization that helps the homeless.  It made me look at reality, at things I fear like "drug problems" and at the people who put so much professional time into helping. 

Often in my journal I wrote, "I am home."  By that, I refer to Zurich, to the kind of work I do, to the quality of friends I have here and to simple things like taking coffees (equally often, Proseccos) together. Or sometimes walking home on my own and stopping on the bridge over the Limmat river to admire the lights, or the sounds, or the people.   This is perhaps the source and symbol of my long walk towards my real self. 

2008 Goals

In 2008, I reach the horizon of my Five-Year Vision I wrote in 2002.  I took a good look at that too. Updated it.  More to follow.  I hope you'll see it in my actions and words. I noted five goals for the year (no resolutions - just goals) based on three things I intuitively "know to do."

I look forward to sharing them with you.  Meanwhile, let's get started! 

Week 35: Very billable

In professional services, we talk about "billable hours."  These are the hours we track to later invoice to our clients at an hourly rate.  It's one of the common hassles of the business:  remembering what you did every hour and putting it in some kind of system often enough to invoice monthly.

I prefer 30 minute chunks and tend to round generously down if in doubt. I prefer to overdeliver in the long-run. I had an attorney who actually invoiced me 30 rappen (about 24 cents) for an e-mail that said, "Thank you. Please send me a copy for my files."  Bet he never rounds down.  I've always remembered this.

Last week, I billed and billed.  Meetings and then follow-up.  Meetings and then follow-up.  Deadlines.  Stimulating work.  Fast pace.  Strong progress.

I was exhausted. And I know by this time in my life that I must beware of burning-out or fraying edges. 

On Friday, my colleague Sandra and I talked about the great energy the develops when you are fully engaged in fast-paced work.  An incredible amount can get done.  The funny thing is that the pace that is so productive and fun does NOT often help find the really great idea.  It seems that it's still in those quiet moments, when you are finally not supposed to be thinking about work...that the great idea appears. The inspiration.  The unexpected, brilliant next step.

Amazing.  And a good reason to take your foot off of the accelerator.  To round down generously with yourself regarding your own productivity, even when you are having fun.

Week 34: Quick Wins

I have a new professional challenge in my business that's requiring me to change my rhythm a bit.  New work that I'll say more about later.  I'm fully enjoying it as it absorbs my time like a sponge in the start-up.  Just to point out:  I am beginning this blog post at 9:58 p.m.  The good news:  I jogged at my health club before coming home. The bad news:  I didn't start jogging until 8 p.m.

Such is life for the moment.   

While I'm writing, I'm multitasking. Cooking rice and Thai curry on my stove.

Hitting redial as I try to check-in with Mom for our weekly chat -- but her line is busy for almost an hour now.  What is she thinking to be on the phone during the only 45 minutes I have a chance to try a call (without telling her my plan of course as it could not be confirmed until 9:30 p.m.)!  smile

When organizations try to change, they always say "get a quick win" early if possible.  It sets the tone and gives people confidence in the new way of working.  We're getting a few of them in our business. Small, promising signs of teamwork, business growth, diverse client projects with interesting people -- fun to be a part of it despite also some transition challenges.

I regularly look for quick wins - or little wins - to celebrate in life.  Some days I have to look harder than others.  Especially if "win" also includes keeping something that resembles a personal life in the process of a fun new job.  Today I jogged: quick win.  On the weekend I went to an outdoor concert:  evening win.  Yesterday, I had a good cup of coffee first thing in the morning: quick win. (So I had another: double win!)

Last night, after a particularly long day, when I was feeling fewer "wins" I had to settle for the one quick win that all women know:  taking off my bra and putting on something more comfortable the minute I step in the house! And you know what?  That was just enough; I slept well.

Week 33: A lion at my door

I walked home one night last week, in the dark and rain, to find a lion staring at me from the front door of my apartment.  A big one.  This one.

  At first I thought someone must be playing a joke.  Why would anyone put a large plastic lion in an otherwise tasteful entry way?  It's like people in the USA who put Statue of Liberty replicas in their front yards. An overgrown pink flamingo.  But he's still there as of this morning.  Several times, I've jumped when I opened my door.  This fellow is definitely bigger than me and I don't expect him by my mail box.

And now I wonder, what is his purpose?  Is he protecting me? Trying to scare me?  Is he reminding me of the roar? That he's just really a large cat?

My last week needed sometimes a little protection.  Ups and downs of business conversations, team leadership and life.  Sometimes I wish I had a lion by my door; telling me to rest while he stands guard.  We all need a place to feel protected sometimes, even in good times like I feel these days in busy business and with friends.

I know a couple of Leo the Lions:  my father, an old boyfriend who just turned 40 this summer. They roared a lot and loved a lot.  Tonight, I think I'll just pat him on the head and say "good night." 

Week 30: "be"

It's holiday time in Zurich.  August 1 - National Day - the equivalent to the US 4th of July.  Most people take the entire week off (plus the week before or after...).   I love it when the weather is good, which it was yesterday. The normally well-organized and safety-loving Swiss save up their spare change and purchase the largest fireworks they can afford.  Then as it becomes dark, they light huge bonfires on the hills around the lake and enthusiastically at will set-off their proud purchases until it all runs out or 12:00 midnight arrives, whichever comes first. 

Or, if they don't have room for a bonfire, they just light those big old Roman Candles right off of their terraces, like my neighbors on both sides. I didn't have to spend a Franc and smiled for hours in the celebration.  Simply being present.

In my business, I talk about Be-Become-Build as a foundation for compelling communication.  This week I am focused on "Be."  Slow down a little in the sunshine to be happy.  Be creative. Be myself.

Today, I pottered around Zurich.  A cappucino here.  A little shopping there.  A quick phone call.  A short work-out in the gym mostly for the excuse of following it by taking a sauna.  A little rosemary and garlic around dinner.  A rainy-night movie. 

I believe there can be too much productivity in human life.  To much being efficient and not enough being still to hear our own voices.

Five years ago, I had a few weeks off to potter around Zurich.  Out of those weeks came my dreams, my book, and ultimately my business.  My growth and learning to live outside as the woman I am inside.

That's a sneakily-powerful word:  "Be"

What is professional?

Mr. Ness, who I count as one of my best blog fans, actually was the person who most encouraged me to create a blog and who sent me the links to the first blogs I ever read.  He commented to me some weeks ago that, while he enjoys reading my blog, he initially suggested it for more professional or business purposes than where I've evolved it. 

I had to think about that a while because my instinct tells me that this blog is growing to be an important tool in my business. I couldn't quite define it when he and I were talking at the time.  I agree with Mr. Ness that I'm not yet putting the blog to its best commercial use.  I need to comment on other blogs and link them to mine.  I need to better use widgets, blog search engines, etc.  All things I hope to do more of over time.

Yet in fact, I purposely keep some commercial separation on this blog.  Here, I express myself as an individual professional.  A woman who works.  I don't talk a lot about my personal life and surely never expose people who are in personal relationships with me.  But I do state more of my real opinions and in truth my blog has given me the courage over time to show more of myself to the people with whom I interact professionally.

What has suprised me most about my blog's role in my profession is that the quality of my interactions professionally have improved.  People will read my blog and then respond "in kind" via an e-mail or when I see them.  Then entire conversations take a far more open and candid tone.  And we can talk about "effective communication" at work including what's really on their minds -- like, I want be myself.  My blog, when I really consider it, has led to some of the most valuable and human interactions of my business.

Mr. Ness already brings his own voice to his work and has from the start of our working together.  He's a great example of a person who can create an excellent, highly-professional business outcome, while proving the theory of my home culture, "You can take the boy out of the farm, but you cannot take the farm out of the boy."   In addition to professional advice, he can describe farming life in colors and temperatures so vivid that you feel the yellow-brown, hazy humidity of the river beds even in January.

Mr. Ness mentioned in the same blog conversation that perhaps my writing is becoming more artful.  But maybe it's just becoming more me, my real way of expressing.  It may not be so commercial, but I think it is like his own voice -- a way of encouraging others to do the same.

Week 26: Keeping it more simple

This week, I tried the "slow down to do more" strategy.  Limited my after-work commitments to two evenings.  Started the week and each day with a few clear priorities.  The strategy worked in the big picture; I still left on Friday with a few things I wish I could have finished.

The good things this week:

1. I noticed that the marketing plan I wrote in January and then updated in April seems to be moving and still on-track for the year.  Even I am surprised that the overall approach and priorities fit what I still see now as the business progresses.  Feels good to create a plan and watch it develop.  I need to stick to it.
2. Strong progress on client project work, as needed on a deadline
3. My colleague Sandra delivered a seminar on Friday for our Leadership & Learning Community lunch event that made me feel proud and grateful to be associated with such a professional.  Plus we had a full group at the table after now four months of marketing.
4. I'm testing out some ideas about the overlap between leadership development and internal communication that several of my contacts who I respect find interesting. I love a new idea that takes builds and grows through conversation!
5. I finished my first book of the summer -- The Jane Austen Book Club, recommended to me by Helen who reads hundreds of books.  Next up (and started):  The Joy Luck Club (had not yet read it; didn't see the movie.  Love it so far.)

The not-so-good:

1. Just wish I had more patience for accounting, especially as I learn the Swiss rules.  Closing the books on 2006 (due in June) took longer than I estimated and raised my stress level a little.
2. Might have found one more day to jog, but that's just niggling really.  Overall, I took care of my health this week. Even had enough sun for a light little tan to start showing.

Lesson Learned

On certain things you do the first time, like the accounting noted above, sometimes there is nothing to be done except slow down, learn the details and do the job right.  The best way to relieve stress in those situations is to get realistic about what the job requires -- time and effort.  And plan for it.  My impatient nature will often try to bypass such reality.  Yet, I felt much better after I put a more reasonable time schedule in place this week and stopped acting like it was someone's problem other than my own.  Sometimes I ask myself when will I ever really learn?!?!????

Week 25: In the flow!

I talked with several people last week who commented that they felt highly energized at this moment.  We speculated about the reasons:  perfect sunny weather, first day of summer, the position of the planets, the economy, karma, etc.  I really don't try to explain this feeling anymore when it happens; I just try to enjoy it.

The five best things last week:

1. One lovely lily (see yesterday's post)!
2. A couple of significantly upgraded client projects, both of which I find compelling also in their objectives.  Should be fun, if a lot of work.
3. PWG's monthly May event in a new location with more participants than last month
4. Got a lot done in general professionally and personally
5. Found at least a little time for friends

The "still working on it" list:

1. I was SO TIRED by the end of the week and had to finish my accounting on Saturday.  Seven hours of a minutely detailed task that, to me, feels like building a road out of toothpicks.  Not every job in your own business is fun.  I like understanding the numbers, but have no patience for the required level of accuracy!  I hope I can outsource this next year.
2. Not enough nights to myself or even blocks of time during the day to think.  Overbooked again.  I scolded myself yesterday (my one free day) for getting back into the treadmill mentality.  This will stop, now!
3. Learned that I overlooked posting an excellent comment from one of my biggest blog fans and great business supporters in general.  He applied the garden analogy to raising children.  It's posted now (see June 13).   Will have to make-up for that one this week!

Lesson Learned:

To take a little more emotional distance from ups-and-downs, personal or professional.  The whole story plays out over time.  In three days last week, I went from thinking my summer would be comfortably busy, if slower for business, to feeling suddenly fully booked and needing to relook at protecting my personal time a bit.  And wondering how I would ever find a way to relax with friends and just have fun.  But that was only stress and being tired at the end of the week.  In the end, there is always a way.  I told myself "Jill, you know your mind always does this when you are tired -- take a break!  You'll feel better when you are rested."  And after a good day in the sun yesterday with the computer off and phone put away, I'm OK again.  I think I'm finally taking "burn-out warning signs" seriously.

Week 24: Happy returns

Last week, I returned to Zurich from the USA midday Sunday and suffered to stay awake through evening. Typical jet lag.  The summer sunshine helped, as I wandered somewhat dazedly through a grocery store at the train station (the only store open on a Sunday).  A mid-wander coffee also helped.  That first day is a killer!

The fun of last week stood out in three clear ways for me (instead of five this time):

1. Hosted a jalle Leadership & Learning Community lunch dialogue seminar on Friday. Well-attended and well-received.  I facilitated this one because it focused on my organizational communications content.  (Normally Sandra Ondraschek and I co-facilitate; she'll lead the June 29th session with her content about Resilence.)  I learned a lot, as usual, from the participants' discussions.  Feeling you've created and delivered something of value is a great way to end a week.
2. Felt good to simply come to the office every day and tackle the next productive topic without changing hotels or getting on an airplane as in the last two weeks.  Have plenty to do: client consulting, prep marketing for Fall, prep seminar content, meet with clients or interested people in general etc.  I enjoy nearly every activity associated with this business.
3. Continued team and relationship-building through the Professional Womens Group.  (See my last blog post.)

The less enjoyable (just one thing, as most of the week was really more enjoyable!):

1. Will I EVER stop coughing?  I know.  I know.  A few more days of this and it's off to a doctor.  It's just that I still remember clearly the three trained physicians who "checked" my breasts in February. This congestion is in the same general region.  I imagined a cold stethescope...and decided to try regular sleep and diet first!

What I learned:

I'd say more accurately that "I am learning" about relationships in a new way because of discussions among friends and family during the last weeks.  Which relationships are irreplacable?  Which ones last?  And how do they change? 

Why do some relationships motivate and inspire you, even when there's been a gap of years between real connection?  You just pick-up right where you left off. 

Which relationships carry with them so much history that you end-up arguing over past baggage instead of reality?  Why are we all so sensitive anyway? (For example, can you imagine that among my three brothers -- who are identical triplets -- one of them feels a little hurt if I somehow don't manage to call him first on his birthday?! I call in alphabetical order by first name now.) 

Of course, I include myself in that over-sensitivity.  In the last weeks, I've interacted with people from my first 18 years alive, from my first 16 professional years, my first husband (and so far only husband, though now an ex), and my current life. Mostly it is great to see how we all survive things that sometimes in the moment, seemed unsurvivable.  And still in some way love and appreciate each other. Maybe that's the lesson.

Week 23: 9,000 People Who Love Learning

Last week, I attended the American Society for Training & Development (ASTD) annual international conference in Atlanta (USA) along with 9,000 other participants.  Really.  You cannot imagine how well they organize this event, which runs on-time and without obvious logistical glitches.

The great of this week:

1. Immersing myself with others who engage in corporate learning.  Four days exploring international talent management, communications and leadership development.  Professional heaven!
2. The Expo of key learning vendors alone was worth my visit to see what is trendy (hot topic: leadership development) and how others like myself market their services. Seeing hundreds of suppliers (from language translation to meeting venues to consultants like Ken Blanchard) required nearly four hour to walk the halls.
3. At least a dozen genuinely interesting new contacts gained.
4. New, thought-provoking and potentially useful ideas explored during seminars and keynote speeches.  More on those to follow in next posts. My journal is full!
5. Had a beer with my ex-husband Jeff, who lives in Atlanta, and confirmed we are both happy with our new lives. I count it as one of the more important tests of our characters that we stay in contact after the pain of divorce now eight years ago.

The not-so-great:

1. Darned cold and cough followed me around again all week.
2. Trying to stay awake while I write this now back in Zurich.  Can you say "Jet lag!?"

What I learned:

A lot this week!  I'll pick just one thing for now.  While I believe a person can make new, deep friendships at any stage in life, I realized this week visiting friends and family that some relationships -- even if they evolve with time, distance and life changes -- are irreplacable.  They are to be cherished for what they have brought us and for the special qualities that make them always evoke a feeling of understanding and being understood in our lives.

Weeks 21 & 22

Yep, another combo of weeks!  I'll be 80 before I know it at this rate...

The five great things:

• More registrations for our Learning Community seminars
• Tax accounting done on time
• Ready to leave on both business and pleasure on time
• Successful hunt for reasonably-priced, New Jill clothes in Chicago.  "New" meaning a bit more individual style.  You'll see...it comes with finding my own voice these days.
• Inviting Mom to join the hunt in celebration of her 70th Birthday

The less lovely:

Cold germs invaded the minute I let my guard down on holiday in Chicago.  Now at my business conference in Atlanta, I'm still entertaining my colleagues with rampant coughing.

Mix of British and American English in new brochure.  Ugh!  Well, it's still just what I wanted, but I will have to distribute a lot of 'em before the reprint.

Not enough time to write in general.  Hope the summer back in Zurich will help me on this front.

Lessons Learned:

By describing my business to others, I feel how my own perspective on it has grown.  Taking my own advice to better connect what I do professionally with who I am personally is my greatest challenge at the moment...to be neither too professional or too personal.   Mostly I am highly conscious with others that I am trying to bring a new way of communicating to the discussion.  Mostly it works.  And often it feels awkward when I recognize the difference.  Small steps of change, I suspect.

I also gained some new perspectives about people and change from visiting the USA for the first time in a year.  What had changed for me -- I really stayed present with my family and friends, did not work at all.  (That was my gift of learning from visiting with a friend, Peter, last year.)  Yet they all have so many memories of me from other times in my life.  I think those memories resist change more than I do! 

Week 20: Holiday Productivity

I always find the days before vacations or long weekends give me exactly the clarity I need to know what is important to be done immediately. If all short weeks were so productive...

The five best things about the week:

1. Four productive and fun meetings with clients. One meeting particulary reached a better outcome than expected in record-short time! Always feels good when you do that together.
2. I finished my invoicing on time
3. I'm actually ready for a trip that begins later this month because the thought model of my business worked in "pilot test."  We can print the desired materials!
4. Our members seemed to enjoy the Professional Women's Group monthly dinner event (our team's second event)
5. I've identified a person who brings that rare combination of talent, enthusiasm and team spirit.  Now if I could just find the room to hire!

Three things I might have done differently:

1. NOT come home two consecutive nights after 1 a.m. (OK, the nights were fun and coincided with the holiday weekend -- 17 May was Ascension Day here.)
2. Written more. 
3. Made a few more client phone calls, although I did a lot of work on our overall marketing program.

What I learned this week:

Just adopting the attitude of bringing a playful spirit and enjoying the work sometimes makes the work more playful and enjoyable.  I took this attitude toward several meetings.  Reminds me about my role as a leader, too -- to set the pace and perspective.

Week 19: Rain Returns

Clouds rolled through some days this week.  Rain fell with the temperatures.  Much-needed rain for the gardens, as well as for me because a few grey days here and there force me to slow down a bit.

The five best things about the week:

1. The one night I was home by 7 p.m., I had to sit around and read instead of hike up the hills outside. Rest.  Relax in my own space.
2. I better balanced my personal interaction with business.  Every day I managed to talk with, share a meal with, or in some way correspond with a friend.
3. That having been said, I still did a lot of business.  Such as: a new client project where I already see the motivated person growing skills (needs only a little nudge from me, not a remake).  Four business networking meetings from which I will write at least one new project proposal.  Plus the discussions gave me energy & ideas.  Mass mailing new marketing brochure. One evening with a professional communications event.
4. Good steps forward with the Professional Women's Group of Zurich via transitioning the data and web details.  It was a lively Wednesday evening discussion, enhanced by opening a bottle of wine at the end.  We are ready to put some structures in place for efficient operation and to set goals for the next year.  Our target for the new team to be formed and ready to charge ahead is June -- I think we'll get there!  The best part is that I feel the individual leaders pulling together for the journey. It is on some days more work than any of us expected.  And yet each person seems motivated to get through the sometimes challenging first weeks with real belief we can make something happen over time.  I already sense an exceptional team, an exceptional experience ahead.
5. I'm finding new ideas for keeping the flow in my writing while implementing business tasks.  Read in an article from Havard Business Review by Howard Gardner (referred to me by my friend Beth) that included an example of people who take a bit of time for reflective thinking every week.  Will try it myself and let you know how it goes.

The least inspiring part of the week:

1. The days remain a bit long at times, even with fun personal things mixed in.  I fight the "treadmill" mindset around 4 p.m. most afternoons.
2. I did not yet commit to how I will print what could be a very expensive, but useful, story book of my business.  I sense that I need a small breakthrough in thinking about how I will implement it.  Made a prototype and will see what I learn in the next week of interactions.

What I learned: 

• I sense I'm about to break through a little further in my way of approaching my business & my life.  Little breakthrough from one plateau to another.  I am surprised that I do not use the full freedom and flexibility my own business gives me.  Want to test if this is just "habit" or "assumption" or something else.

Weeks 17 & 18

I'm combining my last two weeks of reflection, as I've needed to combine a lot of other things lately in order to still have a life. 

The five best things about the last 14 days:

1. The weather in Zurich!  Sunny and nearly 80 degrees F every day.  What a lift for the spirit as I walked to and from work every day.
2. I'm getting a little further ahead on marketing planning, which is resulting in better participation in our activities.  (Imagine that!?)  Lots of thanks to Sandra for all of her help with this progress!
3. Had five candid discussions with business contacts about the realities of learning to be yourself and having the confidence to express it.  The conversations seem to inspire and stick with all of us.  I nearly always learn something new, even though I already think a lot about the topic.  Makes me feel I'm doing the right thing.
4. Received three notes from former colleagues with updates about life.  Brings back fond memories.  I'm learning to make the time to reconnect with someone nearly every day.
5. During our second Professional Women's Group of Zurich Executive Committee meeting, I could feel the team's energy and enthusiasm, even facing a lot of work ahead.  It was fun.

Three disappointments (actually, only one that I would note during this period):

• I am still getting quite tired by the end of the week from such long days, even when they include fun activities.

Greatest learning:

Right now, I'm learning to challenge my flexibility in balancing work and life.  I've lately tried jogging in the morning once in a while when the weather is nice.  I still get to the office by 9 a.m. when I do it. Makes my evenings a little more free to be spontaneous.  And I'm trying to get away from a rigid in-the-office schedule.  So far, I feel it refreshes me to have the variety.  Let's see if I can keep it up.

Week 16

Last week, what I remember of it:

The good:

1. Worked on several projects for clients
2. Finished three marketing pieces -- one of which is a surprisingly fresh, storytelling piece that I hope my clients will enjoy.  Had fun working on it with graphic designer Elisabeth.  I really feel the flow when creating these materials, especially when I feel passionate about the story we are telling.
3. Conducted our April community dialogue seminar about being authentic at work.  Strong dialogue, continuing to prove the method.  Excellent service from the Widder Hotel makes these seminars feel a little bit like a spa experience.  One aspect of the seminar unfortunately also hits my "not perfect" list below for other reasons.
4. Spent some time with a former colleague who always is fun to talk with and has interesting ideas.
5. Facilitated my first Professional Women's Group of Zurich dinner event as the Chairwoman.  I feel good to be a leader of it because it is so international, diverse and supports a range of choices through retirement -- and also because the changes I've made in my life to reduce travel allow me to do it!

The "not perfect"

1. A smaller group attended our dialogue seminar than expected because of "no shows."  I must learn to manage this situation.  The session did NOT crash and burn as a result because it is designed for small groups; the participants who attended brought spirit and enthusiasm.  But it creates more energy when the group is a bit more diverse.
2. I became more irritable than necessary when someone said "there are no complaints about you" in a context that I could hear paraphrased in my ear:  "We are so perfectly the role model of who you should be that we will stand in judgment and let you know what you should do differently."  What is that?  Arrogance?  Ego?  Of course, the one other person who stands out in my experience as once having said something like that to me in a professional role then role modeled how to get fired for misconduct some years later.  I think I'll keep an ear to my voice and let others make their own choices. Wish I had focused on that idea before being irritated!
3. Did not finish all of my invoicing

And finally, what I learned:  that it is great to have the time to do more than just jump out of an airplane, into a taxi and onto a hotel bed.  I saw more of Amsterdam last week than in the dozen other times I have visited.  All because I took a little time to look around when I could instead of doing 100 e-mails.